Wandrwoman’s Relationship Advice

Wandrwoman offers a free, but valuable service
to all registered visitors to this blog


It should be noted that Wandrwoman is spectacularly unqualified in this area of expertise. To her credit, Wandrwoman has watched several seasons of  “In Treatment” and took “Abnormal Psych” while a college undergrad just a few years back. Wandrwoman has had her own relationship  ups and downs and is an excellent listener.

  • All relationship questions should be posted as comments and will be answered on a first come-first served basis.
  • Patient-Therapist confidentiality will be respected.
  • Rudeness will not be tolerated!
  • Trolls will be rooted out like swine and beaten to death with sticks.
  • Office hours are sporadic and at Wandrwoman’s whim.
  • Please do not expect Wandrwoman to be available 24/7 for your little
    “life issues”.

For an example of Wandrwoman’s expertise and recent experience in relationship advice, you may want to check out her thread on an Amazon forum:


10 responses to “Wandrwoman’s Relationship Advice

  1. WW, your assistance in relationship advice is being requested by a customer on the Top Reviewers forum.

  2. Wandrwoman – I have a very urgent problem. Some of your associates seem to be unhappy with me. In fact last time I came in to post on the forum there were cries of ‘Burn the witch’!! I am not entirely happy about this and I am in a quandary about it. What should I do…? Should I pretend that I desire and yearn for pudding, or should I stand firm and assert my freedom from all pudding-cravings.
    perplexedly, Gingerlily

    • Dear Gingerlily,
      Gracious! What is the world coming to?
      On January 6, 1941, US President, Franklin D. Roosevelt gave his famous State of the Union address in which he proposed four fundamental freedoms that people “everywhere in the world” ought to enjoy:
      1. Freedom of speech and expression
      2. Freedom of worship
      3. Freedom from want
      4. Freedom from all pudding-cravings
      As a sister pudding detester (except rice pudding served in coffee shops run by Greeks), I will march shoulder-to-shoulder with you until all pudding tyrants are eliminated from the face of the earth!
      Stand firm Gingerlily! Stand firm!
      I hope this has been of help!

  3. At last I need some guidance on something……
    Last night I had a card pushed through my door from one of the neighbours inviting me to a “Royal Wedding street party” (although all they are providing is the concept – we have to bring food, booze, chairs and so on). I have a number of options, what do you think is the best?
    1) Report them to the Security Services as they can’t be British
    2) Set fire to their house (yes, I will make sure they are out at the time)
    3) Utilise social media to invite a number of undesirables to their party so they get robbed/murdered and never attempt such a stupid thing again
    4) Launch the dog turds that our dog leaves on the decking over the fence during the event. Maybe even launch the dog himself, he’s not big but he will make short work of any food they have left unguarded

    What to do, what to do…….

    • Dear Tweedy,
      You pose an interesting “relationship” question: the “relationship” we have with our neighbors.
      I myself received the very same “Royal Wedding Street Party” invitation under my door! (Yes, Tweedy, I am indeed one of your neighbors. You may remember me as the one always looking at your house through binoculars from her second story window).
      Unlike you, however, I am very excited about the party! I have already purchased a wide brimmed hat, the potato salad and the mutton kabobs.
      I recommend that you overcome your obvious dislike for the members of our little community (yes, we know you are the dog turd launcher) and join in the festivities, perhaps organizing a kissing booth or some such fun activity for the local children.
      Failure to do so will result in the punishment unanimously decided at the last neighborhood association meeting (which of course you never deign to attend).
      You will be the all day subject of the “Dunk the Curmudgeon” booth to raise money for our pet charity, the Indigent Immigrant Relief Fund that assists recent immigrants bring their entire families and villages to the UK.
      So, my advice is to cheer up and bring the tub of yak yogurt!
      I hope this has been of help!

  4. Dear WW,
    As of yet there are only brief mentions of my husband in my blog. I did mention practicing some martial arts type moves on him in this one:


    He did happen to read that one but decided not to say anything about it. Otherwise, I haven’t actually ranted about him. That is a good idea! There is a draft blog I have started that will cover all the fun I had getting him adjusted to life in America. One of these days I will finish (it’s a rather long list of things). This could cause him to become somewhat upset and embarrassed, but I’m confident he will get over it, eventually. As always, thanks for your advice.

    -Mistress of the Dark Path

  5. Dear Mistress of the Dark Path,
    Welcome to my office and congratulations on being the very first prospective “patient” here! Please accept my gift of a non-existent, virtual fruit basket. Please remember to show your insurance card to the receptionist on your way out.
    I empathise with your feelings of frustration with your husband. I myself have similar feelings towards my husband which have been sublimated by writing this blog and purchasing expensive things for our dog. I note that you also have a blog. Have you considered writing mean things about your husband on your blog? It can work wonders! Be careful though, if he reads your blog, you will be in big trouble!
    Hope this has been of help!
    Sincerely, Wandrwoman

  6. Dear WandrWoman, oh what, oh what should I do? You so kindly introduced me to lots of nice men, now they have gone and left me. All of them – even Theo who so romantically took me out UFO watching. He ignored me and got carried away by all the probing. Do you have any further advice, or should I stick to the men on the UK site.

    Yours, Gingerlily

    • Dear Gingerlily,
      Welcome to my new office! As my second “patient” here, you will receive a virtual, non-existent fruit basket (smaller in size than the one I gave to Mistress because you were not first after all.)
      You post a true problem. What to do when you finally meet nice men and they leave you? Perhaps you should look to yourself!
      Wandrwoman notes that Gingerlily is from Ireland. Did Gingerlily overdo St. Patrick’s Day celebration a wee bit? Maybe too much Riverdance with the Lord of the Dance, eh? This can sometimes turn nice men off.
      Not to worry, Wandrwoman overdid St. Paddy’s Day also and woke up the next morning next to a leprechaun!
      There is really nothing to be done, just comb your hair and wait for the dust to settle. These nice men will be buzzing around you again, mark my word!
      I hope this has been of help!
      Sincerely, Wandrwoman

  7. I am so pleased to see a place where we can ask for relationship advice and it can be moderated by someone who speaks English (even if you cant speak all the other world languages). Thanks for providing this forum for our frustrations. I am sure some issue I need your help with will be coming soon. My husband is a bountiful source of frustration! Best wishes on your latest venture.

    -Mistress of the Dark Path

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